Scientific relationship compatibility test

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Hanan Parvez
MA Psychology
Updated:

compatible relationship

A compatible relationship is one where the partners live together harmoniously and peacefully. This doesn’t mean there are no conflicts in a compatible relationship. It means that partners in such relationships handle their conflicts and differences in healthy ways.

People tend to put on their best behavior during the initial courtship phase of a relationship. As partners spend more time together, more things about their partner begin to surface. How partners deal with this later stage of a relationship can determine the course of the relationship.1

For a relationship to last, compatibility is a crucial factor. Without compatibility, a relationship can break down in no time. While partners who’re not that compatible can make a relationship work, that relationship will likely be plagued by toxicity and power dynamics.

Taking the scientific relationship compatibility test

This test isn’t laden with any spirituality or astrology woo woo. It’s based on the common signs of a compatible relationship discovered by psychologists, researchers, and relationship experts.

The test includes questions about the psychological as well as practical aspects of a compatible relationship.

While psychological aspects like trust and openness are undeniably important, research has shown that the similarity of partners on many dimensions significantly contributes to compatibility.2

This test is designed for people who’ve been in a relationship for a while (at least a few months). If you’re single and trying to find out if you’re compatible with a crush, it’s not for you. If you’re in a brand-new relationship, this test may provide insights, but I’d recommend you wait a few months to take it.

This test consists of 30 items on a 5-point scale ranging from Strongly agree to Strongly disagree. While answering questions, keep in mind the current status of your relationship. When you’re done, ask your partner to do it too so you two can compare scores.

If your scores are similar, you two are on the same page in the relationship. If not, you got some work to do on the relationship.

Relationship compatibility test

1. You have no doubts about the love you have for each other.

2. You enjoy spending time with each other.

3. You enjoy spending time apart.

4. You handle disagreements and conflicts well.

5. Your partner makes you want to be a better person.

6. Your partner has made you a better person.

7. You two can envision a future together.

8. You can be yourself around your partner.

9. You’re attracted to each other.

10. Your interests, beliefs, and core values overlap.

11. You both have unique identities.

12. You give each other space.

13. You both know how to compromise when needed.

14. You're not ashamed of your partner.

15. Nothing about the relationship seems forced.

16. You respect each other.

17. You both make efforts for the relationship.

18. You communicate well with each other.

19. You understand each other's nonverbal communication.

20. You want to share both good and bad news with your partner first.

21. You can both apologize to each other when needed.

22. You respect each other's differences.

23. You encourage and support each other.

24. There's hardly any power struggle in the relationship.

25. You have similar educational levels.

26. You have similar attitudes regarding smoking, drugs, alcohol, and partying.

26. You have similar political and religious views.

27. You both value sexual fidelity.

28. You both have the same sex drive.

29. You have similar food and entertainment preferences.

30. You try to get along with each other’s families.

References

  1. Huston, T. L., & Houts, R. M. (1998). The psychological infrastructure of courtship and marriage: The role of personality and compatibility in romantic relationships.
  2. Wilson, G., & Cousins, J. (2003). Partner similarity and relationship satisfaction: Development of a compatibility quotient. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 18(2), 161-170.