What is Post-infidelity Stress Disorder?
Post-infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD) is inspired by the term Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). While PTSD is a generic condition that can be caused by any life-threatening trauma, in PISD, infidelity is the trauma-inducing incident. The term was coined because infidelity can lead to PTSD-like symptoms in the betrayed partner.1Baucom, D. H., Pentel, K. Z., Gordon, K. C., & Snyder, D. K. (2017). An integrative approach to treating infidelity in couples. In Foundations for Couples’ Therapy (pp. 206-215). Routledge.
Symptoms like:
- Obsession
- Rage
- Nightmares
- Depression2Ortman, D. C. (2005). Post infidelity stress disorder. Journal of psychosocial nursing and mental health services, 43(10), 46-54.
Causes
Survival and reproduction are fundamental human needs. When your survival is threatened in a big way, you’re likely to experience PTSD. When your reproduction is threatened in a big way by infidelity, you’re likely to experience PISD. However, it’s not just about reproduction. We also see our romantic partners as a source of emotional safety, love, and adoration.3Hazan, C., & Shaver, P. (2017). Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. In Interpersonal development (pp. 283-296). Routledge. We come to identify with them.
Hence, when you get betrayed, you lose some part of yourself, and the world you had built with your partner crumbles around you. It can be a life-altering event. No wonder it is the most common reason couples break up.4Amato, P. R., & Previti, D. (2003). People’s reasons for divorcing: Gender, social class, the life course, and adjustment. Journal of family issues, 24(5), 602-626.
How long does PISD last?
If you’re experiencing PISD, you might be wondering how long you’re going to languish in this hell. That depends on many factors, mainly how badly you’ve been affected. The worse the incident has been for you, the longer you might take to recover.
What’s important right now is that you’re grieving, and it’s essential to let yourself grieve. Sit with the emotional pain and process it. Ruminate over it as much as you need to. Avoid relying too much on unhealthy coping mechanisms to feel better. Focus on yourself and get all the support you need.
About the test
PISD isn’t an officially recognized disorder. It’s a helpful term that describes a set of symptoms that a good chunk of those who experience infidelity go through. This test isn’t meant to be a diagnosis. It shows how badly you’ve been affected by your partner’s betrayal. If you’re struggling to cope with the symptoms, professional help is recommended. This test is completely anonymous. Your results are only displayed to you; we don’t store them in our database.