Having lost your inner child means being disconnected from your childlike qualities, such as:
- Authenticity
- Innocence
- Vulnerability
- Spontaneity
- Playfulness
- Curiosity
Why do people lose touch with their inner child?
Childhood trauma is a big reason.
When children aren’t loved and cared for in the way they expect, they suppress their authentic desires and feelings. They’re given the message that they aren’t worthy. So, they increasingly morph into who others around them want them to be.
Children naturally want to fit in. Part of that involves pleasing those around them and crafting a likable persona.
While this strategy helps them blend in, they lose their uniqueness and childlike qualities. How many adults do you know who are authentic, playful, and curious?
Childlike vs childish
When we move from childhood to adulthood, we behave in ways society expects adults to behave. There’s nothing wrong with adopting age-appropriate behaviors, but taking on responsibilities does not have to come at the cost of losing childlike qualities.
Childish qualities are qualities that we had as children that people find annoying and immature in adults.
Most people drop their childish behaviors when they become adults. They also tend to drop their childlike qualities and lose touch with their inner child.
It’s not always easy to differentiate between childlike and childish qualities. Sometimes, the two can overlap. The same behavior can be childlike in one context and childish in another.
For instance, many would consider playing video games childish, unproductive, and a waste of time. But there are billionaires who play video games. When they do it, they’re being playful and fun-loving. But when other people do it, they’re being childish.
People who’ve lost touch with their inner child tend to judge childlike qualities in others as childish. They wish they could experience the same joy and authenticity. But that’s hard to do unless you’ve healed your past wounds.
A natural consequence of healing your childhood core wounds is reconnecting with your inner child.
Taking the lost inner child test
This test consists of 10 items on a 5-point scale ranging from Strongly agree to Strongly disagree. It measures the degree to which you’ve lost connection with your inner child. Your results are only displayed to you; we don’t store them in our database.
