Power dynamics are a natural part of every relationship, especially romantic relationships. For a relationship to work, both parties should be able to share power equally.
Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case. When one person steps on the rights and needs of the other in an attempt to meet their own needs, the relationship becomes unequal in power.
The partner who seeks more power in the relationship seeks to control the other partner. They expect only their needs to be prioritized in the relationship. As a result, they incur significant costs on their partner.
A controlling partner seeks control over your:
- Thoughts
- Feelings
- Behaviors
Intent matters
Differentiating controlling from non-controlling behavior can be tricky. After all, people live in their own worlds– their own bubbles. For instance, what you see as controlling behavior may be seen as caring behavior by your partner.
Open communication in a relationship and a genuine willingness to explore intent can solve many relationship problems.
It isn’t easy to understand intent because you can’t fit a camera in your partner’s head. Nonetheless, some behaviors increase the probability that someone is controlling if they occur repeatedly.
Taking the ‘Controlling partner’ test
This test consists of 20 items on a 4-point scale ranging from Always to Never. As mentioned earlier, the frequency of these behaviors can indicate whether they’re controlling. If there’s a power imbalance in the relationship, it will rear its ugly head repeatedly.
Your results are only shown to you and not stored in our database.
